- lots of cuddles and kisses - too ugly to cheat - you dont have to worry about me liking anyone else because I hate everybody - neck kisses - we can have movie nights - I have great music taste - I’d share my pizza with you
shouts to all the band kids who worked really hard to master an instrument in high school and double shouts to the ones who wore goofy outfits and did it in choreographed steps like seriously that sounds outrageously difficult like poaching a perfect egg but yeah denny’s has yr backs and you’re welcome in our humble diners after any and every recital, concert, home game, et al.
A marching exercise where you give every band member a red solo cup filled up to the brim with water in place of their instrument. You run them through box 8 exercises for about 20 minutes. They are only allowed to drink what’s left of their water.
boys cry girls masturbate boys can like pink and not be gay girls can have short hair and not be a lesbian boys can like ballet girls can like video games boys can be hot without a six pack girls can be hot without a hairless body boys can have hair down to their waists girls can have stretch marks, curves and back fat
gender doesn’t determine what you can and cannot enjoy, what you can and cannot look like or what you can and cannot do
once i went to the movie theater with my friend who wears hijab and while we were sitting down she turned to me and said “people always ask me what i have under here. let me show you” and proceeded to whip out two dorito bags, three hostess cakes, and a pack of gummy worms
On my first day working at Disney World I went into the bathroom and accidentally smacked right into Snow White, and she went “Oh fuck!” and almost dropped her Red Bull and that was the beginning of the best job I’ve ever had.
On my first day I was walking and ran into Ariel drinking Starbucks and she said “What’s up bitches”